Nocturnal Ramblings
by LaylaBinx
Summary: "You know Jensen sleep-walks, right?" Aisha has a run-in with Jensen in the middle of the night. Hilarity ensues ;P A little bit of Jensen/Cougar in the end because I can't resist :D


**Hello all! Okay, I swear I'll get back to working on Fallout but this idea popped in my head yesterday and was just begging to be written. I might continue this but I'm not sure yet lol, we'll see how it goes :P I know I sleepwalk, I've woken up in different places all over my apartment and my roommates actually had to change the locks on our door because I kept going outside O.o I don't think I talk in my sleep though lol. Oh, and if you're interested, nearly all of the sleep-talk quotes come from . If you've never seen it, check it out, its hilarious! Hope you guys like it! :D**

**I own nothing! =/**

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"You know Jensen sleep-walks, right?"

Clay scoffed lightly and Pooch nearly choked on his coffee, setting the cup back down on the table sharply and coughing into his sleeve. "No shit...you caught him?" He asks once he's able to form words without breaking into a coughing fit again.

Aisha stares at him blankly, quirking her pierced eyebrow slightly. "Yeah, last night."

Pooch laughs softly and Clay shifts the newspaper he's reading up just enough so it was covering his face. Seeing she's still staring at both of them, deciding who would be easier to beat the answers out of, Pooch leans forward, conspiratorially, and looks her dead in the eye. "What did you see, exactly?"

**OOOOO**

_It was late, well past 3 am, the apartment dark and steeped in shadows. She couldn't sleep, too many thoughts racing around in her head, too many plans, ideas, everything. Too alert to relax and retire to Clay's room. They were stuck in some God-forsaken city near Dallas, Texas, tracking yet another lead on Max. The others were asleep, exhausted from the mission that never seemed to end. The air conditioner kicked on noisily, rattling through the house though it didn't seem to do much good. It was hot during the day, hot at night, the sounds of the world around them keeping her up and on edge all night long._

_She cleaned her guns carefully, taking solace in the familiar motions, the feel of the metal in her hands. She could dismantle a gun in less than six seconds, put it back together and reload it in five; the guns were an extension of her, lethal and efficient in every way. There was a flash of movement to her right and she whipped around sharply, gun leveled at the center Jensen's chest. She expected him to jump, babble on some excuse about why he was up, or at least looks somewhat surprised that a woman who could beat him to death with his own spine was pointing a gun at him. Instead, he just stared at her blankly, his arms hanging loosely by his sides, clad in a pair of checkered boxers and one of his ridiculously bright t-shirts. Seriously, the EPA should be called in to investigate those shirts, there had to be some kind of law against wearing colors that bright in public._

_"Jensen." She said sharply, trying to get his attention and figure out what the hell he was doing, slinking around in the middle of the night. Slinking was her job and dammit, she was good at it. The fact that the younger man had managed to slink into the living room and had been standing there for who knew how long before she noticed him made her antsy._

_Jensen didn't answer; he continued to stare at her with empty eyes, seeing through her, past her, at something she wasn't aware of. Out of instinct, she turned slightly, looking behind her just to be sure he wasn't signaling an assassin or anything of that nature. Not that she thought he had it in him, he would break into to techno-babble and blow his entire plan before that ever came to fruition._

_"Jensen." She said again, a bit more sharply than she meant to. The younger man still wasn't answering and if it was one thing Aisha couldn't stand more than being confused, it was being ignored. Finally, the blond blinked slowly, eyes leveling on her just enough to where she could see he was looking at her. He muttered something unintelligible, a ramble of words that ran together into a string of one long bit of nonsense._

_"What?" She snapped, confused and irritated by the unusual behavior. Since joining the team, she'd gotten used to Jensen's little "quirks", the odds and ends of the things he did, but this was new. She didn't handle "new" all that well._

_Jensen simply blinked at her again, muttered something about turning off the water in the backyard, and turned abruptly, walking into the kitchen. Aisha frowned, more confused than ever, and stood slowly, following him into the kitchen._

_The younger man walked around the table slowly, dragging his hand over the pocked wood, and then walking over to stand in front of the sliding glass door that led outside. He rested his forehead against the glass, gazing outside into the darkness._

_Still confused but trying a different approach, Aisha sighed and leaned against the counter, staring at Jensen's back. "Jensen, what are you doing?"_

_There was a brief moment of silence (this was probably the quietest she'd ever heard him when he was awake) and Jensen shrugged slightly. "I need to go shopping..." He muttered, never taking his eyes off the dark glass._

_"For what?"_

_"I need a mask...nun-chucks...rubber suit...shitload of talc...gotta make a list. Its a super hero shopping list." He said matter-of-factly, drumming his fingers on the window._

_"A super hero shopping list?" Aisha whispered incredilously, her voice coming out a disbelieving hiss. "What are you, fucking Batman?"_

_"Back off Robin. Batman is my bitch now." Jensen snapped, though his voice was muffled by the window so it was hard to hear it very well._

_Aisha simply blinked, not entirely sure what to make of the unusual conversation she had found herself in. It was obvious that Jensen wasn't all there (well, more so than usual) but it was still frustrating. She'd never had any experience with sleepwalkers/talkers and not knowing what to do in that given situation made her edgy. "Jensen, I think you should go back to bed."_

_"I am in bed." The younger man replied almost automatically, still staring outside._

_"No you're not."_

_"You can't put a banana there...that's very irresponsible." Jensen mumbled in return, casting a glance over his shoulder at her. "Wash your hands...and burn that banana..."_

_Aisha felt her cheeks flush suddenly and her eyes widened; she didn't know what the hell Jensen was going on about but she was about to punch him in the forehead. "Jensen...I swear to God..."_

_"You see this?" He said suddenly, turning to face her fully now. He held his hand out and Aisha felt the muscles in her back stiffen instinctively. He was holding a coat hanger, salvaged from one of the closets in the apartment, and it was dangling from the hook around his finger. "This is what you want, but you can't have it...unless I let you."_

_"Give me that!" Aisha snapped, snatching the coat hanger from him and tossing it across the room. "If you don't go back to bed right now I swear to God I'm going to-" She was cut off when Jensen suddenly grabbed her shoulders, holding her in place._

_"You're never too old for Legos...building shit is fun." He insisted, before he let her go and turned back toward the window._

_Unable to take the strangeness of a sleepwalking and talking Jensen, Aisha stormed out of the kitchen and down the hall, hellbent on waking up Clay or one of the others to handle the situation. She wasn't one to back down from anything she ever found herself in but she was quite sure if this wasn't handle immediately, she would shoot Jensen on principal alone._

_Before she could knock on Clay's door, something dark passed her in the hallway, muttering softly in Spanish. She turned slightly, watching as Cougar walked into the kitchen and over to where Jensen was standing. She wasn't entirely sure what she was expecting but she kept her back pressed against the wall, watching silently. The Sniper was fucking deadly in the daytime and at night, with a tech-geek bumping around in the house, she really wasn't sure how he was going to react._

_To her surprise, Cougar gently turned Jensen to face him, looking into his empty eyes and whispering something quietly. Jensen, for his part, mumbled something about throwing mangos, and Cougar just rolled his eyes, keeping a light grip on the younger man's arms. He steered him carefully out of the kitchen and back toward one of the back bedrooms. His dark eyes caught Aisha's as he passed and he nodded to her before resuming his steering of Jensen. "...jure a Dios yo le ataré a la cama maldita..." He muttered as he pushed the still-incoherent blond into the bedroom and shut the door behind them._

_Aisha stood silently in the hallway for about ten minutes, still too stunned to do much of anything else. Despite the sleepwalking computer tech, she'd always had her suspicions that he and the Sniper were sleeping together. Tonight had just proved that. It was a little too much to take in all at once. Finally, she sighed heavily, shook her head and went back into the living room, clearing her guns off the table. She tucked them away and ventured back into the hallway, slipping into Clay's room and closing the door. Arguing with a sleepwalking Jensen had taken its toll on her._

**OOOOO**

Pooch laughs again as she finishes her story and Clay is smirking behind his paper. "Wow, you actually tried talking to him." Pooch laughed, nodding a bit as he remembers something. "We tried that a couple of times but wheelbarrow of crazy Jensen possesses during the day kinda turns into a dump-truck of crazy at night."

"Yeah, Roque used to just dart him." Clay offers with a grin, setting the paper down on the table. "Kept a dart gun under his pillow for that very reason. I think he caught Jensen wandering around in the halls one too many times for his liking."

"Did he put the walkie-talkies in the freezer?" Pooch asked, still grinning like this was the greatest thing he'd ever heard.

"Pardon?" Aisha blinks, confused by the question.

As if to answer her, Pooch gets up and walks over to the refrigerator, opening the freezer and pulling out a handful of nearly frozen walkie-talkies. He laughs and drops them on the table with a thud. "Good thing these things are weather resistant."

"Why does he put them in the freezer?" Aisha asked, touching one of the icy dials on the walkie-talkie closest to her.

Pooch shrugs slightly. "Not sure, all we know is that anytime Jensen has one of his nightly wanderings he always puts the walkie-talkies in the freezer."

"He used to stack all the glasses on the counter tops too." Clay adds, taking one of the walkie-talkies off the table and brushing frost off the top of it.

"Yeah, he ended up outside a few times. Just opened the door and walked outside..." Pooch gestures vaguely with his hands toward the door. "That's why we started rooming him with Cougar."

"Huh?"

"Cougar's a really light sleeper." Clay clarifies with a shrug. "We figured if they were in the same room together and Jensen got up in the middle of the night to wander around, Cougar would hear him and stop him before he did anything stupid."

Aisha blinks, staying silent for a few seconds. She's pretty sure the others know about the other two men's sleeping habits and there's another reason behind the "roommates" thing but she doesn't say anything. Don't ask, don't tell, right?

Clay looks up and smirks a little. "Aisha tells me Jensen got out last night."

Aisha turns just enough to see Cougar walk into the kitchen and take a seat next to Pooch. She can hear the shower running down the hall and figures that's where the missing member of their team is. Cougar looks at Clay and nods just slightly to the older man before looking at her and smirking ever so slightly. It was a knowing smirk, almost secretive, and had she not been so flustered from everything that happened the night before, she might have said something about it. Or maybe not. Aisha could hold her own in a fight but she wasn't sure she wanted to go up against Cougar, it didn't seem like a very good idea. And she's been an eyewitness to their little episode the night before, it was like stumbling on a secret she wasn't meant to know.

With a sigh, she pushes herself away from the table and stands abruptly. "Whatever." She mutters with a shrugs. "But tell Jensen the next time he starts talking about banana's I'm going to shoot him."

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**(1) "Jure a Dios yo le ataré a la cama maldita"- Loosely means "swear to God I'm going to strap you to the damn bed" Lol, at least that's what google translation told me :P**

**If you have any sleepwalking/talking stories I'd love to hear them! :D**


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